Creating Lent & Easter Memories Part III
This post is a sequel to the last two week’s newsletter articles. If you missed these articles and would like to learn more about creative ways to share Lenten and Easter memories with your family, click here and here.
Here are this week’s ideas from Dr. David W. Sharrard (paraphrased):
Week 4—These suggestions are meant use the season of Lent to help parents teach children and young people the necessary skills for self-management and cooperation with others. This is done through regular family meetings. Suggested time frame is 10-15 minutes, though older children might be able to expand to longer intervals. The vehicle is introducing spiritual practices and necessary skills to learn called the ABC’s of Spirituality. Professional counselors use these skills to teach clients to control anxiety, depression, how to address pain and for a host of physical maladies; sometimes called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness training and Psychosynthesis. Yoga and many spiritual disciplines teach similar ideas.
A is for ATTENTION SKILLS—stopping to observe self and others, focusing or learning to discipline the use of the mind and choosing, which is becoming aware of the ability to choose and the choices we make.
B is for BALANCE SKILLS—quieting oneself in order to listen to one’s inner world of experience, seeing or noticing others (things and places—the outer experience). Balance is finding that place between inner and outer experiences; between one’s own self interests and others.
C is for COMPASSION SKILLS—caring and connecting.
Just as teaching a sport requires practice, so does psychological and spiritual development. This week our focus is BALANCE and developing the skills to quiet oneself and to see or take notice of others.
Read John 15:11-15. Talk with one another about what it means to ‘abide.’ Perhaps using the phrase ‘in-on’ will help. Discuss how Jesus is teaching his disciples about the importance of loving one another and loving others. Talk about ways we show our love to others and how loving someone sometimes means paying attention to what they need from us. This may even lead to discussion of the differences between needs and wants.
As we are seeking to balance our lives and our needs with others and their needs it is important to first focus awareness on the self and what we are feeling. Ask everyone to close their eyes and check in with their emotions and what their bodies are feeling like. Allow 30-45 seconds of quiet while exploring the self. Be patient and at ease with the silence.
Lead everyone through a few deep breaths as you enter into quietness and stillness. Encourage your children to get their wiggles out by gentle sways, not by jerky movements or shakes. Softly make a few statements guiding everyone to consider how different parts of the body are feeling. After naming a few body parts to consider, transition to the mind and thoughts that wander through. Finally, ask everyone to consider the emotions they are feeling at the time of the exercise.
Once everyone has checked in with their selves, check in with one another. Ask what each person desires or wants for themselves. Discuss each person’s behaviors without making accusations. Ask each person to provide their own commentary on their own behaviors…not one another’s.
After each person shares their own desires for the self and contemplates their behaviors, look to one another and discuss the experience of exploring the self, the body, the thoughts and the emotions. Then, take turns sharing with one another things that are appreciated about each person. (Every person shares at least one thing about everyone else.) After this exercise of affirmations, ask each person to ponder their emotions once again and how they might be feeling a little different after all the nice things were shared.
Allow a few moments to share with one another the things you each might need from one another for the week ahead. Take turns allowing each person to express at least one ‘want’ from everyone else.
Finally, discuss what it means to balance what we want for ourselves and what others might want from us. Parents may use this time to share about the demands on their time, as can each person who desires to do so.
Close by joining hands and reciting the Lord’s Prayer together.
May these ideas become dedicated practices for your family for a lifetime.
Blessings,
Tracy