Lessons learned from chains…
Last week, Cathy Caldwell and I traveled to Chillicothe, Ohio to visit one of our members, Tyrone Ballew. Tyrone’s story is one of great tragedy and courage, but more about the incredible power of the bonds of love. His story is much more involved than I can relate in a simple newsletter article, but if you are interested in hearing more, you have only to ask.
Tyrone’s daughter, Jasmine, traveled with us for the visit. Tyrone has been behind bars for 21 years now. Jasmine is in her early 20s. She has never known a father outside of prison, but has maintained a connection all these years through phone calls, letters and infrequent visits. Tyrone loves his daughter dearly and watches her grow through small glimpses into her life whenever information and contact is available. I imagine he passes much of his time behind bars reviewing all these pictures and conversations over and over in his mind, remembering every detail of her smile, so very much like his own. I’m sure he spends a good deal of time in prayer for her, praying that God places before her many opportunities to live life fully and to love graciously the people in her life.
Jasmine is a graduate from Eastern KY University, where she studied Communications and played basketball. Today, her opportunities to play ball might take her as far away as Europe or Asia. She has recently been carefully considering all her options and weighing the possibilities with what I imagine is great excitement and wonder mixed with as much anxiety and trepidation. We celebrate with her and her family an opportunity to visit Germany in June to try out for teams from Germany, France and Belgium.
While visiting with Tyrone, Cathy and I left father and daughter for some much needed one-on-one time. Visiting a maximum security correctional facility, our only option was to simply move down a few tables and chat with one another and other inmates. As we chatted, we looked across the expansive room to Tyrone and Jasmine’s conversation. We saw Jasmine’s head buried in her arms on the table, in obvious emotional distress, and Tyrone standing there, leaning over her to hug her and rub her back and offer what comfort he could. His efforts were hindered by the shackles around his ankles that chained him to the table.
At that moment I became acutely aware of all the things that hold onto us, preventing us from loving more fully individuals in our lives: everything from addictions and mental illness to geographical distances and busy schedules, fears of hurts from the past to expectations unmet. So many things separate us from one another, just as those prison walls and razor-wired fences separate Jasmine from Tyrone. But, our separations are, more often than not, self-imposed. They are barriers we have the ability to overcome, but not the will. Hurt and distrust hold us back just as those shackles inhibited Tyrone’s ability to hold his daughter close for love and comfort.
Hurt and distrust are natural reactions, and defensive mechanisms, designed for self-preservation. But, when these emotions prevent us from loving more fully we are ultimately separating ourselves not only from one another, but also from the One who can love us more fully into healing. Shutting ourselves off from the love of one another not only causes pain to those involved, but to a Creator who created us out of love and designed us for purposes of love.
Tyrone and Jasmine have no control over the circumstances of their relationship, but choose to love one another as fully and as much as their circumstances will allow… AND it is enough love to overcome the separation of walls and fences… and enough love to break through those bonds of shackles and chains that hold Tyrone to his seat. This is but one instance of the love offered to us from God through Jesus Christ. There are many opportunities for love in our lives. The question we each face is whether or not we will allow the prisons of our own making, and the chains of our own doing separate us from that love.
My day with Tyrone taught me to seek to love more fully, and I pray the same for each of you.
Blessings,
Tracy