Life’s Hard Road

When I took my oldest child to college it was a bittersweet moment. We were so proud of her and excited for her future. But also saddened by the fact that we had to leave her alone in the big city. We were terrified by the fact that we couldn’t see her whenever we wanted. Leaving her crying on the curb in front of her dorm was the hardest thing I ever experienced.

Two years later my second daughter was diagnosed with a tumor in her spinal cord which required a very delicate, 10 hour surgery. Once again fears filled my soul because circumstances regarding my child were out of my hands. The morning of the surgery was tense, to say the least. They allowed us to stay with her while they prepped her for surgery, but in the end we had to walk away…leaving her there, awake and terrified of what was to come. Now there was competition for the hardest thing on life's hard road.

After these moments I determined that the hard things in life, where my kids were concerned, involved leavings. Now, after our experience with the death of Bob’s mother, I know that life's hard road also includes moments when we hang on. That moment when my children realized their beloved grandmother was gone, their hearts broke and the agony for me was unbearable. No matter how tight I held onto them, there was nothing I could do…only time can mend this wound, but never completely. They will, now, always know the pain of loss…and travel life's hard road.

Leavings, and holding on, can both cause excruciating emotional pain…and there is no solace for this but for the grace of God. This kind of pain comes from loving someone so completely that you want to protect them from the deepest kinds of hurts. But there is no way to protect them from everything. Some things are just out of our hands.

The only comfort I have found in those moments is the knowledge that when my children’s care is out of my hands, I can place them in the palms of God’s hands…and there they are much more secure, for I am not equipped to handle the big things.

I suppose God looks down on us in these moments and says, “Here, let me take care of this one. You find some rest and let your heart heal. I will watch over them and love them as you do, for they were mine before I entrusted them to you.” I know, maybe I’m putting words in God’s mouth, but it helps me to find comfort when nothing else will.

And it is my hope for you that you, too, might find some measure of comfort by remembering this when you encounter life’s hard road…the leavings and the holding ons.

Blessings,
Tracy