Jeff's Journal 2010 - 2018

Recent Events

The recent events of alleged abuse at Penn State and Syracuse Universities highlight the ongoing need to be vigilant in our own lives and in the church to prevent such abuse from ever  happening.

        To prevent such things happening at FCC and to deal with them should they ever occur, we created a policy many years ago.

        Essentially, we operate on the rule of three.  Theoretically, no two people should be alone in the church building or on a church activity.  There should always be three people or more together at all times.

Now, this is not always possible.  So here is what we recommend.

1. Make sure you plan ahead so as not to be alone with a child.

2. If this is unavoidable, make contact with another adult in the church to let them know where you are and what you are doing with the child.  Or better yet, call someone and ask them to come be with the two of you or move to a more public place.

3. If you must counsel a child or youth, make sure someone else is in the building and that they can at least hear you talking, if not the exact words you are saying.  Have them walk by the  open door periodically.

4. ABSOLUTELY DO NOT LET YOUR CHILD OR ANY CHILD IN YOUR CARE BE WANDERING ALONE IN THE BUILDING AT ANY TIME.  The only exception to this rule is a short trip to the bathroom.

5. If you even suspect a problem regarding abuse, talk with a trusted pastor or elder or moderator, someone who has the power to inquire and initiate an investigation.  Your concerns will be held in confidence.

6. The church will support and counsel anyone who is a victim of abuse outside the church as well.

Most all problems of abuse could have been avoided if the adults involved had followed a rule of three, that three people be present al all times

What qualifies as sexual harassment?  While I do  not have all the answers here is what I think:

1. Keep your thoughts pure.  Filter what you see, hear and think.

2. Be very circumspect about touching any other person.  Never touch anyone when alone with them.

3. Limit your comments about a person’s appearance.

4. Do not make sexualized comments about another person.

5. If you feel an overwhelming attraction to someone with whom a relationship would be inappropriate limit your time with that person and redirect your thoughts to something else.

6. If you have the power in a relationship, you are the one trusted to be the responsible party.  This means an adult with a child, a teacher with a student, a pastor with a member, a supervisor with an employee.  The person in the relationship with the power has a special responsibility not to abuse that power to sexually harass another person.

We always need your help in the church to insure that there are enough chaperones and sponsors present to make sure anyone in the building is adequately supervised and such occurrences of sexual harassment do not happen here.

Should you become aware of sexual harassment or abuse please report it to the Moderator, Pastor, Associate Pastor or another trusted elder or church member.  I can assure you there will be a thorough investigation and authorities will be contacted if such abuse involves a child or an adult requests it.

Further motivation to never abuse a child come from Jesus.  He said, “If anyone of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you drowned in the depth of the sea.”  This is to say Jesus fells very strong about not ruining children’s lives, however it might be done.

Helping us all live responsively,

Jeff