Life’s Silver Linings
I'm on vacation this week so one of the first things I did was sit down and watch a movie that arrived about 3 weeks ago from Netflix. Silver Linings Playbook, based on a novel by Matthew Quick and directed by David O. Russell. This movie landed Kentucky Actress, Jennifer Lawrence, her first Oscar for Best Actress. It wasn't the Oscar buzz which made me want to see this movie…it was the bold attempt to portray mental illness in families and how well these issues were delivered on screen that piqued my interest.
I grew up with a family riddled with undiagnosed mental illness and all the pain and confusion that comes with it. One day I think I’ll write a book, but for now just unpacking all the issues and working through them towards forgiveness and love is enough work to take on. Living with someone with mental illness is heartbreaking and incredibly lonely. How do you describe all the irrational behaviors of someone you love without denigrating them or exposing them to ridicule? How can anyone who has never walked through this reality have any understanding of what it is like to never know what will happen next…what someone with mental illness is capable of…what it’s like to always wonder if what they’re doing is ok and everything will be fine… or if they are simply at the beginning of what will be their end? Most who love someone with mental illness simply go through life as if everything is fine…and when it isn’t, they grieve and handle it as best they can and try to help without putting themselves in danger (if possible) or becoming the victim of a rage. You just cannot imagine what is possible with someone who is mentally ill…and the saddest thing is, they don’t understand what is wrong either…if they’re even remotely aware there is something wrong. Many go through life thinking the whole world is messed up and they are the only sane ones out there.
There’s only a small percentage of folks who have the proper care and treatment available to them who are willing to take advantage of medication and treatment options. Most mental illnesses go undiagnosed, especially in families where domestic violence and addictions (like mine was) are the norm. Frequently, addictions are the result of the mentally ill trying to self-medicate…unfortunately their efforts still have disastrous results for families. And today, according to a Sept. 26th article in the Wall Street Journal (Read the full article HERE) the prison system is now the largest mental-health treatment facility in the nation. In some states, as much as 55% of the prison population is made up of mentally ill inmates who have broken the law as a result of their illness. If this many are incarcerated, how many more are still a part of families trying desperately to cope with the daily issues that loving and caring for someone who is unstable?
This movie brought forward issues of mental illness and provided a venue of discussion for so many suffering in silence. One of the issues brought up by this film, which I found hilariously fascinating, was the fact that mental illness is really a subjective term…there are only two characters in this movie (Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence) who have medically treated diagnosis, but what we learn is their entire world is filled with people with many idiosyncrasies…yes, mental disorders, but who somehow manage to cope with life in their own bizarre ways. That summed up my family brilliantly…all we needed was some crabby-snacks and homemades.
(If you, or someone you know, is in need of support in dealing with loved ones with mental illness, there is help available. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) provides help for those suffering with mental illness and their friends and family. For more information, visit their website HERE. Support groups and educational opportunities are offered frequently right here in our area.)
Blessings,
Tracy